Hello friends! I haven’t talked to you since last year! Man I missed ya!
I am now officially off maternity leave. Watch out world – you’ve been warned. I have spent the last 4 months welcoming our precious son Ransom to the world. (and yes, I do plan to continue to plaster his precious face all over the internet – so there you have it)
Needless to say I have had a lot of time (often in the middle of the night) to think. Thinking is dangerous. Not for you (don’t worry you’re safe; mostly. But you are implicated) – but it’s bad news for the enemy. I’ve had many people over the years tell me that I was a “passionate” person. When I got pregnant I was greeted with all kinds of advice (some valid, some creepy, and some completely unwanted; ask any pregnant person – it’s a strange and wondrous time socially). I had a number of people tell me that once I became a Mom I would “settle” down and that I wouldn’t be so “driven”.
Seriously? Have you people met me? I mean really…
This blog is to politely tell those folks they were horribly mistaken. If anything, becoming a Mom has me even more fired up. So consider yourself warned. If you thought I was intense before – you ain’t seen nothing yet. (Disclaimer – I am from the Midwest and have license to use the word “ain’t” as I deem appropriate.)
I am constantly asking God to crush my heart for his people. God, in his faithfulness, has constantly and sometimes brutally answered that prayer. I want desperately to see the world through God’s eyes. I want to see what brings him joy….but I also want to know what breaks his heart. And THAT is where I want to invest my life – crashing the Kingdom into the hell that someone else is living.
I feel like God has somehow wired me to notice the outsider; to identify with their isolation, their longing to connect and be LOVED and PURSUED. So as I relished thousands of sweet moments with my precious boy I found myself confronted with what brings God joy and what breaks his heart – all wrapped up into this sweet precious face. (before you jump to any conclusions bear with me and keep reading – but first gaze upon this cuteness)
Gush…. Moving on to my point. In my son I see God’s JOY. When Ransom smiles it is as though the entire universe has stopped for a moment and all is right with the world. As his Mommy there are few things that bring me greater joy. I love loving my son. And I love being loved by him. That’s how God feels about us. That same feeling brings him JOY. He loves loving us – and he loves being loved by us.
But then there are moments as I am praying over Ransom that I realize that the world he was born into is a harsh and fallen place. I realize there will be people in his life that hurt him, or don’t speak life into him. And that crushes my heart. I realize that he lives in a world that is waiting to determine his value based on what they perceive he can or cannot do. We have been very blessed with a very happy and healthy little boy. But even now as I type this there is another set of parents out there receiving the crushing blow of a diagnosis that they can’t even wrap their minds around. This moment will change their lives forever. This is where God crushes my heart. I have known far too many parents in that situation who have been met with judgment, loneliness, discouragement, fear, and isolation. This is not okay. This has only intensified for me now that I’ve become a Mom. God’s heart is for ALL of his children to be recklessly pursued for his Kingdom. That his people will not rest until they have reached every man, woman, and child (REGARDLESS OF PERCEIVED ABILITY) with the good news that the God of the universe sees them; loves them; and defeated death to save them.
So this is for you Ransom….and all the other kids out there. You are loved. You are wanted. And God’s people are in “reckless pursuit” of you. Game on. Stay tuned.
Here’s to Changing the World…